The question:

Discuss the term “evil” and how it is applied to women in at least three of the works we read for this semester. What is the role of the “evil woman” in these works?

Ms. Lloyd’s answer:

The word “evil” is often used in epic poetry. Mostly, the word connotes a lack of thought and decision. If something, such as a woman, is evil, then the culture does not have to think about the implications of actions taken towards the person or thing. “Evil” then becomes a term to excuse actions taken against people or things that went against the beliefs of the culture. The Greeks at the time of the Iliad, the Odyssey, and Euripides’ Medea were in a patriarchal society. The women who did not succumb to the patriarchal society and live in dominion of a man were therefore, termed “evil” and in order to excuse actions taken against the woman and prevent the other women from doing the same things.

In the Iliad, Helen is the archetypical “evil” woman by the standards of her time. Helen leaves her husband to live with Paris from the Trojans, which starts the Trojan War. She is the excuse needed for the Achaeans to wage a war against Troy. She is described as evil by many of the characters in the play because Helen committed infidelity with Paris. She steps out of her role as a mother, wife and Queen in the patriarchal society to further her own whims and seek love. This act is unacceptable by the culture, because men are the highest authority of the home. When Helen chooses to leave and commit infidelity, she is directly opposing the male authority in the patriarchal society. Since the men of the time can not have women doing as Helen did, they say Paris “swept Helen off, her famous Father’s child” instead of saying that Helen left of her own accord (6. 212). The men also describe her as “evil” in order to ward off this act of self-fulfillment of the women, by Helen’s example. Hector’s wife, Andromache, is given a higher position in the next passage when she is described as “his loyal wife” which serves to further the patriarchal value by juxtaposing Andromache and Helen.

Another woman, Circe from the Odyssey, serves to further this idea of the patriarchy. Circe is described as “evil” or as a witch, simply because she chooses to live alone in “an open glade” in a “wild wood” instead of in civilization under a man’s dominion (10. 224-5). When Odysseus’s men enter the “hall of Circe” they are amazed by the tame “wolves and mountain lions” lying in Circe’s hall (10. 223-4). The wolves and lions serve to further this idea of Circe being “evil” because she has castrated them to make them tame. This act is unheard of by the patriarchal society and is a blatant disrespect by Circe toward man’s dominion. This symbol of the male figure, castrated, serves to further the idea that Circe is a single woman living outside the male dominion, and therefore, the men term her “evil” and fear her. The men are scared of the lions and wolves not because the creatures are a threat but because the creatures are a symbolic representation of themselves, out of their typical role and under a female dominion. Circe serves in the story to show xenia, or hospitality, and to foil Penelope, Odysseus’ wife. When Circe turns Odysseus’ men into pigs because they act like pigs at her table, the act is not seen as Odysseus’ men violating xenia, but as Circe being “evil.” The term “evil” then is proven to connotate a lack of responsibility, or as an excuse, because Odysseus’ men refuse to take fault for being rude guests because Circe does not fit under the male, or their, dominion. Therefore by terming Circe “evil” the men have an excuse for their actions. Further along, the comparison of Circe and Penelope shows how different Penelope is from Circe in the male perspective. Penelope is a “good wife” because she fits under the patriarchal society and knows her place. Circe is not a good woman, but “evil” only because she desires to think and act for herself out from under the patriarchal society.

In Euripides’ Medea, Medea is the “evil” woman because she kills her children, kills Jason’s new wife, and runs off to live with another man. The idea of “motherhood” in a patriarchal society is why Medea is termed “evil.” The symbolic role of a mother is to care for her young in the patriarchal society, which Medea is a foil for when she kills her children. Jason describes Medea as “a monster not a woman, having a nature/ Wilder than that of Scylla, in the Tuscan sea” (lns. 1317-8). When Jason describes Medea as wild and full of rage, he is negatively viewing her as a male in the patriarchal society. Medea’s wild nature is not a fit attribute for a wife and mother under male dominion, and Jason further exemplifies this fact when he wishes he had married a less “destructive match” (ln. 1316). In Medea’s famous speech, she expresses the place of the woman in a patriarchal society and clearly says “women are the most unfortunate creatures” for “it is required for us to buy a husband and take for our bodies/ a master; for not to take one is even worse” (lns. 229-32). These lines are significant, for it shows the male view of women. Women have to take a “master” like a slave, for not to “take one is even worse.” Medea, Circe, and Helen are all trapped in this slavery, forced to take a husband, and not allowed to further their own whims. The irony is that Medea’s story would not be “evil” if she had been a man. Many male characters in the epic poems kill their children, such as Agamemnon when he kills his daughter as a sacrifice. In Medea’s case, the only difference is that she is a female in a patriarchal society.

Therefore, one can assume that “evil” in the epic poetry dictated a lack of thought and responsibility towards actions taken against the women who were deemed “evil.” All three women were only trying to make something of themselves and follow their own vices. The only reason they were termed “evil” is because the male attitude towards women in a patriarchal society demanded subjection by women. If women did not take male dominion, but instead lived under their own whims and vices, then when men acted out against them, the term “evil” served as an excuse for the men to do whatever they wanted without thinking. It also served as a cover-up so that other women would not want the freedom that Helen, Circe, and Medea had, and possibly do the same things.

Many thanks to Erika Lloyd for allowing me to reprint her essay.

Poster 1

The young woman in Kundera’s “The Hitchhiking Game” finds herself stuck between two binary opposites, with neither position representative of the position she really wants. Kundera adeptly illustrates the dichotomy of how women are viewed and judged on the basis of their sexual activity.

She is fearful that she is too boring and plain for her older more experienced before which fuels her engagement with her role as the hitchhiker. The freedom of anonymity grants her the ability to be more sexually demanding than she would otherwise be permitted, but this very license seems to cheapen her in her boyfriend’s eyes. To fully become that character that she thinks he desires, she has to abandon the concepts of purity or chastity that caused him to value her in the initial portion of the story.

It is daring of Kundera to question the fluidity of identity and this serves as empowering women with the choice to control their role. Unfortunately, the choices seem to be limited between two extremes, where a woman is either a prude or a slut based solely on her number of sexual partners.

How does this depiction of sexual ethics differ or resemble our contemporary views? What effects do social views have on the expression of a healthy sexuality and are women still subjected to this double standard of expectations with regard to sexual experience? Do you think that Kundera views these expects as beliefs that are changeable?

My own observations would say that while attitudes amongst individuals are far more relaxed and respectful of an individuals choices, there is still a very strong cultural pull to label a woman who has had multiple partners a “slut” or “whore” whereas it is regarded as de rigueur for a male were to have been with multiple women. Kundera’s exploration of this topic gave me the impression that this issue constitutes one of the fundamental struggles in a relationship because each party is left with conflicting expectations for how to act and how to expect a partner to act.

Poster 2

I like the way [Poster 1] defines identity and sexuality, in regard to the story. It fits together very well. I think that the story’s depiction of this subject is similar to modern views. Contemporary ideas surrounding sexual experience seem to be more relaxed but not to the extent that a double standard does not exist. Like you said, our culture has yet to release of us these labels and rules.

Poster 3

Personally speaking, yes, I have encountered a cultural double standard in which women are expected to be both virgin and whore, and I’m surprised and uncomfortable every time. Then again, I make little attempt to hide upon which side of that line I fall. I’m a woman who not only has had multiple previous partners, but who also often maintains multiple romantic and sexual connections simultaneously — clearly, this is not a tightrope I care to walk, nor is it one that the people to whom I am closest (friends or otherwise) expect me to walk. That said, generally speaking, while I am honest about my lifestyle, I do tend to be a bit more coy in polite conversation, but that is the extent to which I play into the game. While one could argue that this dichotomy is simply about an assertion of male power, I think that there is clear power in this fantasy for both parties, male and female — the moment in which the girl realizes that in being the hitchhiker, “…she alone had the ability to be all women and in this way (she alone) could completely captivate her lover and hold his interest” (613), rings of the same logic that has moved many a copy of Cosmo off the racks of checkout line magazine stands into the hands of women hoping to have this same power over their men. Clearly this logic has its flaws, but power and sex have as steamy a relationship as any two lovers, and the aroma is somewhat intoxicating.

While it calls to mind that cultural dichotomy, I don’t think that with “The Hitchhiking Game,” Kundera is addressing human culture as a whole and holding it accountable for its origins. Rather, I find that a central theme to the story could be summed up as: when people give themselves over to what they are not, they cause harm to their selves and to others. As soon as the girl stops seeing the young man as her young man and rather some rough and indifferent stranger she is free from her jealousy and can give herself over to her role, “…a role out of trashy literature. The hitchhiker stopped the car not to get a ride, but to seduce the man who was driving the car. She was an artful seductress, cleverly knowing how to use her charms. The girl slipped into this silly, romantic part with an ease that astonished her and left her spellbound” (611). The girl never assumes, or actively takes on her role, she slips into it and lets it captivate her as much as she seeks to captivate her lover. She ultimately, in giving her power over to the game, finds herself in great distress when the young man refuses to end it. He has played his role, and, instead of becoming captive to it, he gives himself over to his own jealousy and insecurity.

Also, though we may look at the virgin/whore dichotomy as a struggle between masculine and feminine power, Kundera examines the power that the entire game has over us, stating that:

Even in a game there lurks a lack of freedom; even a game is a trap for the players. If this had not been a game and they had really been two strangers, the hitchhiker could long ago have taken offense and left. But there’s no escape from a game. A team cannot flee from the playing field before the end of a match, chess pieces cannot desert the chess board: the boundaries of the playing field are fixed (616).

Both the girl and the young man are under the power of the game and cannot escape from it. She loses herself to the game when she loses sight of her lover; he loses himself in the very fact that he cannot do the same until he finds that his two images of her have blurred together so thoroughly he can’t tell them apart when she is naked in the very moment that she needs him to see only her. In this moment, they both realize that they can not flee the parameters of the hitchhiker-and-roving-young-rogue game; they are faced with no choice but to play it out to its end: sex in which she is humiliated and objectified, but in which she, achieving climax despite her utter emotional detachment from him and from herself, has “…crossed the forbidden boundary, but she proceeded across it without objections and as a full participant — only somewhere, far off in a corner of her consciousness, did she feel horror at the thought that she had never known such pleasure, never so much pleasure as at this moment — beyond that boundary” (619). In which direction has the girl crossed the boundary between the game and her life, and for that matter, which one is truly the game?

Poster 4

I had to comment on this because I think there is a very blurry line here that I feel strongly about. Women are expected to have many different sides to them, and we do, no doubt and they don’t contradict each other. While some women allow social roles to define them, we all still have needs. I, personally, am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend- A WOMAN. I love all aspects of that and I don’t get lost in a particular role. At the same time, women want to feel loved, respected, protected and sexy! While having all of these sides to us, sometimes we only want to show certain sides to certain people. The girl in this story had something she needed to let out and to someone she trusted. Unfortunately, he wasn’t “man” enough to handle it. She was ready to show herself to someone, let go of that social constraint and allow a confident and willing side take over but he used it against her. We all have that side. One where we just want to let go of all insecurities and be reveled in. She may never be the same after that experience. She may never trust anyone again completely. It’s unfortunate she chose the wrong “young man” to bare her soul to.

Poster 1

I think this is a very accurate reading, [Poster 4]. At the end, any troubles come from the young man’s jealous nature and inability to understand faceted levels of motivation behind the young woman’s actions during the game. If blame is to be assigned for dysfunction in the relationship, it would certainly be assigned to him. He is unable to play their game in a way that can lead to a healthy relationship. To answer [Poster 3]‘s question, the girl seems to grow as a result of her engagement in the game, gaining confidence and becoming comfortable with expressing her desires. The young man is the one who fails to understand his role in the game, and the separation between fantasy and reality, causing an alienated response that could, as you suggest, cause the young woman to never trust anyone completely again.

Poster 5

Trust is a hard thing to establish between a women and a man if there are factors that cause a one not to believe in that person. I agree with you whole heartily that all a women want is to be love unconditionally. I think as females we tend to love hard and this put us in a compromising situation. This can lead some people to play on that sincere love. But that in no way justify one to judge a female for her sincere feelings. We are all different and at the end of the day we all do have needs and your point of view is a valuable one.

1. What do you know about speaker of this poem?
2. Describe what is happening. What is the poem’s central idea?
3. What is the dominant tone or mood of the poem? How is it achieved?
4. How would you describe the language of this poem?
5. What words or phrases in the poem do you find especially effective?
6. List some examples of figurative language (similes, metaphors, personification, metonymy). How do these devices relate to the theme of the poem?
7. Does the poem include hyperbole, irony, or understatement? Give examples.
8. Are there any meaningful sound repetitions?
9. How would you identify the poem’s meter and rhyme scheme(s)?

You can also download a PDF worksheet of this document.

The drop date is this Wednesday, March 3. I would recommend speaking to me before dropping, especially if you’re unsure about your standing my the class.

I’d like to say a few words about my World Lit class’ midterm exams. Please see my writing advice in a post from early in the semester and in Quoting Verse. Many of you are still making these errors and still need to review some basics. Also, you might consider looking at my primer for writing about literature if you don’t recall your 1102 class.

I’d like to give you some examples of string exam answers. The first is about Tartuffe:

This passage from Moliere’s satire Tartuffe depicts Tartuffe, the religious hypocrite that has thrown Orgon’s family into division, prodding Elmire, Orgon’s second coquettish wife, into sleeping with him in secret. Unknown to Tartuffe, Orgon listens under the table. The play climaxes in this scene, revealing to Orgon that Tartuffe is but a con artist and all of his actions have only disrupted the patriarchal order of Orgon’s household. Tartuffe’s maxim presented here seems to be what Moliere satirizes: decorum is everything, morality nothing.

The second concerns Pope’s An Essay on Man:

This excerpt is from Pope’s An Essay on Man and shows that Pope’s belief is more orthodox than many Enlightenment thinkers. Pope feels as though humans should fully submit to God’s order. Pope repeats “from pride” in the first line, showing that from man’s hubris comes his reasoning, thus it is tainted and fallible. Man makes the arrogant assumption that God made the world for his benefit, which only further proves man’s hubris. The second couplet asks why man blames God for human flaws, but frees Him of blame in nature. God has made everything perfectly, so the last line reasons: man should submit because he does not have the God’s reasoning.

The third is from Voltaire:

The third excerpt is from Voltaire’s Candide. Cunegonde’s maid, the Old Woman, finishes her story. She questions human nature itself, opposing Pope’s An Essay on Man, suggesting that humans are so willing to accept their situation for what they see as good in the end. This is even contrary to Pangloss’ teaching that “everything is for the best.” The Old Woman suggests that humans should take matters in their own hands, not to kill themselves, but to try to find a way to make a difficult, chaotic life tolerable. Ultimately, humans can’t know why they cling to life despite the misery, and this fact might represent the only true optimism in the novel.

The last two excerpts were from Faust. Here’s one:

In this excerpt from Goethe’s Faust, The Lord outlines Mephisto’s job description: to poke and prod the lazy man into acting. “Good” and “evil” are both part of the Lord’s plan: if people do not know evil, how will they ever know what is good? This excerpt foreshadows the coming action: Faust’s temptation causes him to err, but because of Mephisto’s poking and prodding, Faust continues to strive and ultimately redeem himself. Goethe’s unorthodox cosmology allows Faust to experience all the facets of life, even those that endanger his soul, and still find redemption through another.

Remember, my world lit folks, that there are midterm conferences all next week. Be sure to attend your conference in lieu of class; if you miss, you get two absences. I posted the sign-up sheet on my door, in case you forget your appointment time. Bring your questions and concerns with you to the conference in order that we use this opportunity to your advantage.

What dire Offence from am’rous Causes springs,
What mighty Contests rise from trivial Things,

These first two lines of the famous mock epic The Rape of the Lock are quoted correctly. Notice that they are blockquoted; i.e., indented an inch to the right of the left margin. Notice, too, that the original line breaks are maintained. This is the correct way to quote verse, not: “What dire Offence from am’rous Causes springs, What mighty Contests rise from trivial Things.”

Also, to cite the lines correctly in this class, you should give line numbers following the quotation in parentheses. For example,

What dire Offence from am’rous Causes springs,
What mighty Contests rise from trivial Things, (ll. 1-2)

Correct MLA format calls for page numbers; however, when the primary text is understood, all you need are line numbers. The parenthetical citation will make this easy and convenient, and this method will not interrupt your prose with unnecessary and clumsy phrases like “In lines 1 through 2 of . . .”

When quoting verses from dramas, like Tartuffe or Faust, you could also provide act and scene in your citation. For example, in this quotation, Tartuffe speaks to Elmire:

Now, if you’re still concerned, know Heaven winks,
At carnal joys known quietly in private.
Decorum is the way one will survive it.
It’s whiff of scandal, draws out Heaven’s wrath,
And silent sin still sticks to Heaven’s path. (4.4.151-155)

The citation makes it clear that this quotation is taken from act four, scene four, lines 151-155.

When quoting, remember two rules: one, be precise and exact, and two, help your reader find it easily in the text.

Some of you will no doubt be disappointed in your grades. Let me reemphasize that you need to submit four responses during the course of the semester; I will take the highest grades of those you do submit. This means that if you do not like the grade you earned on your Tartuffe response, you have plenty of time to submit more. For those who have not yet given me a response, you should not procrastinate.

I have a couple of general comments about the submissions.

First, I would like to encourage you, again, to read or listen to Writing About Literature: A Primer. There are certain rules and conventions that must be observed when you write about literature. For example, you’ll notice that when I wrote the name of the play above, I used italics, Tartuffe; I did not put it in quotations marks: “Tartuffe.” The latter would be incorrect, since Tartuffe is a play, not a short work, like a poem, the convention is to italicize. Another common error is tense. Be sure you always write about literature in the present tense.

Putting your reader in your essay is another common error that is easily avoided. For example, consider:

In Acts 1-3 we discover how obsessed Orgon is over the hypocrite Tartuffe. We see his passion for Christianity and his subtle position of patriarchy.

Who is “we”? If you mean the reader, I would ask what he or she is doing in your essay. Your concern is with the play, not with trying to control your reader. If you mean “I,” then write “I.” Otherwise, remove the reader from your essay:

In Acts 1-3, Orgon is obsessed with Tartuffe, his passion for Christianity, and his subtle position of patriarchy.

Notice that the prose improves dramatically by getting rid of the “we.” You might also consider whether you need “you” or even “I” in your responses. I bet you don’t.

When citing passages, use MLA citation style. Essentially, this style allows you to use parenthetical citations at the end of your sentences, rather than including this bulky information within your sentence. Compare:

Orgon states to her that Tartuffe wants to commit adultery with Elmire and she still wants to give him “the benefit of the doubt” as stated in Act V, scene four, line 46.

with a correct MLA citation:

Orgon states to her that Tartuffe wants to commit adultery with Elmire and she still wants to give him “the benefit of the doubt” (4.4.46).

You could also correctly state the page number the quotation appears on, particularly if the text is prose, rather than a play in verse form.

Finally, I want to share an example of a pretty solid first response:

In Moliere’s Tartuffe, Dorine portrays the most sensible character in the play. Dorine in a sense is ahead of her time because as a female in the seventeenth century, she encourages Mariane to exercise her human rights which was unheard of in that era. Dorine is the most sensible character because she has good judgement, is unselfish and also is a positive influence.

Dorine has good judgement because she makes wise decisions and has common sense. She gives her opinion about Tartuffe and how he is intolerant and makes sinful choices. She mentions how he is in terms of wealth and rank and is ungrateful. For a maid, she speaks of things that maids or wives would not care to ponder about. She makes enough evidence against Tartuffe so that Orgon can stop the marriage from being prevented. For example she shows good judgement by observing that Tartuffe is taking advantage of Orgon and tries to see what assets he can receive from Orgon after the marriage. Dorine trys to explain the situation to Orgon but he does not care to listen. Another example is when the situation happened between Elmire and Tartuffe. Dorine sets her plan and has noticed how Tartuffe is impressed by Elmire and persuades him to deny the marriage. Dorine is very convincing and can strategize people. She starts her plan, and did not think about how Tartuffe will later trick himself by his infatuation with Elmire.

Dorine is unselfish because in act two, scene three, verse eight through thirteen, she gives advice and shows Mariane to be independent. Dorine encourages Mariane to approach her father about her decision not to be forced to marry a person she does not love. Mariane should marry a person she loves which will promote happiness for the long run. Dorine is not just thinking about herself but a young lady who has an entire life ahead of her. She wants to see Mariane to be satisfied. Dorine feels that possibly the marriage should not be of social status but have financial gain and to rely on each other to build a healthy relationship.

Dorine is a positive influence because she wants the best for the family and especially Mariane. Dorine and other characters, such as Madame Pernelle notice that Tartuffe is dishonest to them and wants control. He wants control of the house to make his own kingdom and wants Elmire for lust not love. In my opinion, without Dorine the family might not be as strong and stable because she is their backbone. She is their backbone because she takes care of the house, voices her opinion in their personal issues, part servant and companion to Mariane. She does not want anything terrible to happen to the family. In her eyes, she sees that Tartuffe will destroy the household with his actions.

Dorine is the most sensible character in the play because she is unselfish, has good judgement and also is a positive influence. She is an important role in the play because she is not afraid to voice her opinion. In many ways, a person does not have to be in upper class in order to be high-minded and Dorine shows that in the play. In real life, there are people just like several of the characters in this comedy. A person can learn lessons like honesty, trust, and commitment.

Why is this response strong? What could be improved? I invite you to answer these questions as comments below. Yes, comments might earn you points for daily work.

The following represents a strong answer to a question on Kafka’s Metamorphosis:

Gregory metamorphoses into some kind of bug, of which is not clearly stated.  I think the point of the transformation was to switch the structure of the family and show the differences before and after.  In the beginning, Gregory is the sole breadwinner for the family.  He has made work his life and likes the fact that he is caring for them.  However, work is the only element that even exists in his life at all.  His father even comments on the fact that he wished Gregory had more to do in the evenings than just work all day.  I think Gregory becomes a physical representation of what he had already become; which was essentially a “worker bee” or in his case bug.  Bugs are systematical and usually lack emotion, which is the only thing that maintains as the old Gregory, but is still evident in his distancing himself.  Gregory had done nothing but take care of his family, a task of which they were now in charge.  His metamorphosis is what sends the family in a better direction.  Before, they did nothing but sit in chairs, or “lolligag” all day, until they had no choice but to get up and take care of themselves.  It was in Gregory’s misfortune that the family was able to grow.  Grete was a typical teenager and ends up metamorphosing herself into a woman as each individual transforms into an actual family.  Their father begins working again, which was a task he hadn’t done in many years.  The metamorphosis was the push the family needed, even if it distanced Gregory from them.

The answer is concise, but detailed. It addresses the question with specific textual details and uses the metamorphosis as a central theme.

This next answer does not earn as high of a score as it does not supply as much specific textual evidence and erroneously links Kafka with the Industrial Revolution:

Gregor morphs into a bug, a dung beetle. He is living a life of total boredom, trying to fulfill the expectations of his lazy, boring, ineffective family. He is working to enhance not his life but theirs. He dreams of making his sister happy and keeping his father and mother comfortably worthless. He doesn’t have a life of his own. Kafka uses this extreme example to depict the helplessness and alienation one feels when they are caught up in the mundane, pointless inevitability of humans going about trying to make an income and somehow losing sight into what really matters – outside the four corners of one’s existence. Gregor had become just another ‘cog in the wheel of life,’ that so many of Kafka’s generation felt during the rapid growth of the Industrial Revolution.

While this answer is correct, it lacks thew specificity of the first.

Next, this answer represents the minimum that would score a passing grade:

Gregory metamorphosed into a dung beetle and although there is never an answer as to why he did so, one can theorize that the purpose of his metamorphosis was for the benefit of his family. His parents became self reliant again and his sister grew into a beautiful woman who was strong enough to make the final stand against continuing to care for Gregory.

While technically correct and supportable, it supplies no textual evidence beyond a cursory reading.

Finally, the following answer would be rated as unsatisfactory. No textual evidence is supplied to support the conclusion of the last sentence — a conclusion that might be unsupportable. More care could have been taken in composition, too:

Gregory metamorphosed into a giant bug. I think he transformed to escape the treatment that his family was giving to him. They always wnted him to take care of them and support them that they really could of cared less about him actually being there and treating him like a human being. This was a chance for his family to wake up and realize that Gregory was not always going to be ther and be able to take care of him. I think the bug symbolized freedom.

• there is no verb
• there is no subject
• the word group is part of a subordinate clause or phrase

A true sentence must contain at least one independent clause: a group of words with a subject and a verb that can stand alone. For example:

We shopped at the mall all day. Laughing and talking the whole time.

The first part of the example shows a complete sentence:

• it contains a subject: “We”
• and a verb: “shopped”

However, the latter part of the example contains a verb, but no subject; therefore, we have a sentence fragment. To fix a sentence fragment, try to make it part of another sentence or make it a sentence.

To fix our example above, make the fragment a part of the sentence:

We shopped at the mall all day, laughing and talking the whole time.

Or you could make the fragment its own sentence:

We shopped at the mall all day. We were laughing and talking the whole time.

Examples

Be wary of lists; they cannot stand by themselves:

I have three favorite foods. Pizza, tacos, and eggplant.

The latter half of the example is a fragment. Use a colon instead of the period to make it correct:

I have three favorite foods: pizza, tacos, and eggplant.

Facts are good for subjects, but make lousy thesis statements. If you cannot take a position about a topic, then you will run out of things to say quickly. Use facts within your essay to support your suppositions, but never as thesis statements. For example:

Star Trek has been on the air for seven seasons.

This statement is a fact, and you can do little to support it. Therefore, it does not make a good thesis. You might use this fact in your paper as an interesting detail, but you should not use it in your thesis.

A thesis statement is just that: a statement, not a question. There’s nothing wrong with exploring possibilities in your paper, but asking a question is not stating a position. You cannot argue a question — only positions derived from answering a question. You can start with a question, but be sure to answer it with your thesis. For example:

Does Star Trek deserve to remain on the air?

You can use this while planning your thesis, but this question gives you no arguable position or a clear point of view for an essay.

A clear point of view does not use unsupportable language:

Star Trek should remain on the air because the ships, characters, and aliens are cool.

Yes, you are taking a position, but how will you support “cool”? “Cool” is a subjective position that you use at a party: it does not present an objectively supportable position that examines the topic critically and intellectually. There is nothing critical or intellectual about “cool.”

Finally, do not play the announcer when writing a thesis. Avoid stating what your essay will cover:

This essay will discuss why Star Trek should not be cancelled.

Yes, you state the subject of the essay, but you take no position on the subject. Remember that a strong thesis must include not only a subject, but also an assertion.

As a general rule, place your thesis at the end of your introduction. No, an explicit thesis placed at the end of your introduction might not always be the best strategy, but it will be accepted by every professor you will write for in college.

Like the topic of an essay, the thesis will have a subject and an assertion. The former should relate directly to the essay’s topic or assignment, but give the specific area that will be addressed. For example, if you were given the prompt “A television show that should not be cancelled,” you would pick a specific television show as your subject.

Your assertion would be your reason(s) why you think that particular show should not be cancelled. The assertion gives your position on the issue, providing a purpose for your essay. In other words, your thesis statement is your essay’s central argument.

In choosing your subject/assertion, try to choose a position that gives three distinct reasons that your essay needs to explore before you draft a thesis sentence. For example, say you have chosen the subject Star Trek as a show you think should not be cancelled because, you assert, of its positive view of humanity. Once you have arrived at this point, you can narrow your position further by chosing three aspects of this subject’s assertion to focus on, like: its use of technology, its focus on diplomacy, and its willingness to engage current issues. These aspects, when you feel they are precise enough, can then be organized into a thesis statement.

While this thesis writing strategy suggests using a three-pronged approach, this way of writing a thesis statement is a suggestion only. Many essays contain implicit theses or ones that use only one example. Basically, there are many ways to go about writing a thesis statement, but the strategy outlined here is proven — though somewhat forced at times — for new college writers.

The trick to narrowing a topic is asking yourself: is this subject too broad? Usually, inexperienced writers will answer no, thinking that they could never write much on such a narrow topic. However, you should narrow your topic until you feel it is too narrow, then you are probably ready to concentrate on writing a thesis statement.

Now, organize these topics into a thesis sentence:

Star Trek should not be cancelled because it presents a positive view of humanity in its use of technology, its focus on diplomacy, and its willingness to engage current social issues.

This sentence, while it may be revised further (like what are the “current social issues”?), represents a good start in narrowing a broad topic into a subject and finally into a workable thesis sentence. Notice that the thesis explicitly states the topic, the subject, and the assertion in a clear, detailed way. This thesis also suggests an organizing structure for the essay: your first body paragraph will address Star Trek‘s positive view of humanity in how the show uses technology; your second body paragraph will focus on Star Trek‘s positive view of humanity in how it focuses on diplomacy rather than violence, and so on.

Generally, a thesis should be as specific as possible, letting the reader know exactly what your essay plans to cover. While three aspects of a topic is manageable, four or five could work just as well for a lengthier essay. Be careful not to be too general; remember, detail makes for an interesting essay.